Sunday, June 7, 2009

Day 2

This weekend has definitely pushed me in a lot of ways as I begin my time in diapers.

Yesterday I went and ran some errands around town, including a trip to Wal-Mart, Target, and Barnes and Noble. The only place I was even slightly self-conscious was B&N because I felt it was quiet enough to hear the Attends. But even then I wasn't too bothered by anything because I knew that even if someone did hear it, I would likely never see them again.

Later in the evening I went to dinner with another friend and made sure to drive my car so that I would have my diaper bag with me, just in case. It's actually really interesting to see how I've started factoring the diapers into my planning, such as giving myself a few extra minutes to get ready or keeping a bag with a few changes in it with me at all times.

So anyway, we're eating dinner and I end up drinking a ton of water because we had a really spicy meal. That translated into me soaking the diaper pretty quickly. However, there was really no easy way for me to get away to change without coming out and saying that's what I was doing. So I held off and kept my fingers crossed for no leaks. Afterward dinner it was really nice out, so my friend wanted to go for a quick walk through the park. I was a little worried about too much activity with a soaking wet diaper, but went ahead with it. Luckily nothing took place and we finished our walk with no occurrences.

After that, my friend wanted to go get drinks, much like the night before. She wanted to go directly there before going home, but at that point I really needed to change or else there were going to be problems. So I convinced her to go home first and have a drink or two there and then go out. Since she lives in the apartment building next to mine, I told her I just had to run home really quick. She was slightly suspicious and kept asking why I needed to go home, but I eventually got away.

I again opted to wear a Secure X-Plus for the evening just to play it safe, and it ended up being a good decision. We drank quite a bit more than the night before, so I ended up absolutely soaking the diaper. But the Secure was great and lasted me through the entire night until I got home and changed into a fresh Attends for bed.

Today has been pretty calm so far. Woke up late and went through my morning routine, which so far has been to change out of the wet diaper, shower off, let myself air dry for awhile during the rest of my morning routine, rub in some diaper cream, strap on a new one, toss some powder in, and get dressed for the day. It's a bit longer of a process than I'm used to, but nothing too extreme. And I only use the cream in the mornings for the first change of the day, so that's not too big of a factor. Anyway, had some lunch and then for the rest of the day I've been lounging around in just a t-shirt and diaper.

A couple of other observances are that holding my BMs until changing time really hasn't presented much of a problem so far. I've been lucky so far that right around the times I need to go are the times I need a change, so that's worked pretty well. Also, I've noticed that it's already getting easier to pee in all situations. Going while driving is a challenge, but it's really easy to just let it dribble out as it comes whenever I'm just sitting around.

Well, things are going well so far! 2 days down, 28 to go!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Day 1

It's been a pretty interesting first day...

First off, let me begin by saying that the Attends have held up really well. They're really comfortable and they're not bulky or anything, so they're pretty unnoticeable visually. However, I had no idea that they would be so loud! I've never worn any diapers that were quite this crinkly and I definitely wasn't prepared for it. It kind of made me rethink the Attends decision because I feel like every step I take, the crinkles scream that I'm wearing a diaper. But I've already stocked up with two cases of them, so it looks like I'm stuck in them for the duration. We'll see how that goes.

So anyway, after I left off yesterday, item number 1 on the agenda was to go upstairs and prepare myself. I began by shaving the diaper area to help avoid rashes and then showered off. Before I knew it, I was diapered up and had begun the "experiment." And literally five minutes after I strapped the first one on and was getting used to the sound and feel of it, I had a knock on my door that ended up being my friend wanting to hang out. At first I was really nervous that she would automatically hear them, so I suggested we go to more populated places with more background noise.

We decided on going to get sno cones and then eventually getting dinner. All the while I was also focusing on going when I needed to go.  Any time I felt the urge to pee, I went and prayed each time that I wouldn't spring a leak. Luckily, I chose a good brand and I never had a problem. However, this was lesson number one for me as I learned that I needed to pack a diaper bag and have it ready to go at a moment's notice.

When we got home we decided to get some friends together for drinks at a local bar for the evening and went our separate ways for a few hours. First thing I did was change my soaked Attends. Although they held everything well, they still were really bunched up from being so wet so it felt really good to get a clean, dry diaper on. I was a little worried about the Attends' ability to hold up to a night of drinking though, so I decided to cheat a little and changed into a Secure X-Plus, which I happened to have a few of already. I still packed up a diaper bag and brought it with me to the bar, but I didn't want to have any alcohol-induced floods that would embarrass me on the first night. I'm not that much of a drinker, but I would rather be safe than sorry.

So it went pretty uneventful. I ended up only drinking a beer and we didn't stay out too late. So I was home well before the Secure was full. In fact, it was so dry that I decided to just wear it to bed and get back in Attends in the morning.

So far today has been pretty uneventful as well. I got up and showered and changed into a fresh diaper and then I've spent the day doing laundry and cleaning the apartment. Mostly lounging in a t-shirt and diaper though, which is extremely comfortable. Still haven't had any awkward moments or even had to change anywhere other than my own apartment yet, but it's still early. I still need to run a few errands around town and then will probably end up getting together with friends tonight, so I'm sure I'll have plenty to tell tomorrow!

Friday, June 5, 2009

And So It Begins...

Well folks, my summer boredom has really sunk in. And in the process, I've had a lot of time to think. I just finished undergrad in May and will be moving far away (out of the country, actually) to start grad school in August, and it makes me think of all the things that I want to do that I haven't yet done. So this mix of boredom and anxiety has helped me to make that crazy decision to do this experiment. 

I've often thought about what it would be like to really be incontinent. Not just wear a diaper for an hour or so and move on, but to really have to wear them 24/7 with no choice. Lately I've read a lot of stories from other people who have tried it, but I really want to give this a shot for myself.

It's a pretty simple plan, really. I'm going to make myself "incontinent" for the duration of the summer, whatever the consequences may be. I'll be wearing disposable adult diapers day in and day out until that time comes where I have to move off and start my next big phase of life. I've made up a few ground rules for myself and they're going to be as follows:

1. The only times I will ever be out of a diaper for the rest of the summer will be either showering or changing, and maybe some time in there to let myself air out a bit. Don't want to get any rashes. 

2. No "mess." I will only be using the diapers for urinary purposes as I've just never been at all interested in using them for bowel movements. So anytime I feel the need to poop, I'll just have to wait until the next changing time so as not to ruin a perfectly good diaper in the process.

3. No holding my urine in until a convenient time. When I have to go, I'll go. Partly because the experiment is to get the actual incontinence experience and partly because holding it could mean flooding and leaking. Which wouldn't be fun, I'm sure.

4. Dress the way I would if I normally had to wear adult diapers. This means only choosing diapers that I can get at a local convenience store or pharmacy. None of the bambino type stuff. And definitely no toddler-style clothing. (I honestly have no AB side anyway, so that's definitely no problem)

5. No changing unless absolutely needed. I don't want this to become an exercise in spending huge amounts of money and, like actual incontinent people probably can attest, the diapers can probably go longer than expected.

6. I am going to live out my normal life routine without interruption to see what it would be like to actually be incontinent. I'm not going to do any crazy stuff, like walk around in public without pants on or act any different way. Just normal, day-to-day life. But with diapers a factor now. I'm not going to be delusional and think that nothing at all will change in the process, but actual incontinence doesn't allow you to pick and choose when and where things happen. It's all part of the territory.

7. The time period of being in diapers 24/7 will be at least 30 days, which as of right now, would take me to July 5th, but will try to stay in them as long as I can. I leave for grad school August 3rd, so any time between now and then is fair game.

The diaper of choice is going to be Attends, which I have never worn but recently stocked up on for this particular purpose. The reason I chose them is because they are fairly easily accessible for me, they're not all that expensive, and, from what I hear, they are pretty high quality. So we'll see how those work out for me.

So that's that.

As soon as I hit submit and post this first entry, I'm going to head to the bedroom and start things off. By the time you read this, I'll be wearing diaper #1 (out of many) and will be starting my summer in diapers.

Follow along with me this summer and we'll take the trip together! I'm fully determined to finish this out, so any support would be great!